I sent her the e-mail - I added a disclaimer that I did not expect her to read it, and that she shouldn't read it if she didn't feel like reading it... but of course she did.
She responded that she was very touch by what I was saying (is that a good sign?), but also that she needed time to think about what's happening. Granted, she has all the right of the world to take her time - it's not easy for me, and it's probably equally hard on her.
The problem is: I would really like to talk. I do want to know where she's at, what she's thinking about. I mean, keep in mind that I am not completely sure whether she loves me. So is she thinking about what her feelings are? Or perhaps something happened last weekend with her boyfriend, and she's thinking of marrying him or so... She told me last Friday that she couldn't imagine that, but who knows.... Most likely, she's simply thinking of how to best deal with this situation, that she loves me and that she's afraid of admitting it, because she may loose me in the end - and while she's hoping that I will do what I think I will do, she cannot see her boyfriend at the same time, so she would be completely alone if this whole stroy ends up different from what I expect....
I would actually be already very happy if I could just see her.... But she said that she's probably not going to be ready to see me this week.... so I've got to be patient until next week... this is going to be hard... and in the meantime, she's going to see her boyfriend again this weekend.
This is so hard.
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