I've had some revelations last night, and I must say that I am feeling great. Yes, it was triggered by something really bad happening, but I don't want to go into it right now - that would defeat the purpose. I need to apologize to myself, my affair and my wife for being such a self-absorbed asshole for the past few weeks... I was so self-absorbed, I didn't really notice how fucked up I was.... so forget about everything that I have previously written. The whole thing is now crystal clear to me, and I know exactly what I want and need - and the good thing is: I feel that I am in control of my life again! Yes, I am to a certain extent still depended on the decisions my wife and my affair are going to make, but I know that I'll be able to deal with whatever decision that might be...
Gosh, I am happy that I managed to pull myself out of this dark whole... I am confident that everything will work out just the way its supposed to be....
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