Flowers

OK, I realized that I should not consider the welfare of my daughter in all of this. My daughter will do best if her parents are happy – and if her parents stay together unhappily, it will not be in be in her best interest. I think that this is an important revelation for me.

And I did something really stupid today: I went to my affairs place in the afternoon and put some flowers in her mailbox… I think that I am really afraid each and every time when she meets her boyfriend. I wrote her a note… So far, I think my actions are ok. But then I added to the note that if she somehow feels bothered by my little presents, she should just tell me. Stupid, stupid, stupid…. This is me! I like making such presents, and I should feel ok about it – and it is up to her to tell me if she doesn’t like it.

I have to be able to be completely myself when I am with her or thinking about her – otherwise, I’ll loose myself in the other person again.